When All Else Fails, Listen to 80’s Music

Advice from a dear friend when I was having a down day last week, 3,000 miles away and she knew exactly what I needed.

This morning I hop on Facebook and read a sad post from another dear friend, with the sad face saying (insert friend’s name) – is feeling betrayed. Betrayal, the worst feeling ever. Hearing a friend cry, a friend who is stronger then she realizes, more beautiful then she’ll ever know, is heartbreaking. I know only too well the feelings she is having. Having to tell yourself enough is enough. Having to be strong not only for yourself but for your child. Having to know, understand, and accept that you deserve better. I let her cry, talk, laugh, mumble in confusion, try to make sense of it all, just be there for her as she and others have been there for me through the past year. I try not to compare situations, but give her the best advice I was given by my aunt….. “You can’t change people, places, or things, you can only change yourself!”

As much as I hated hearing those words over and over and over again over the last year, it stuck with me and carried me through. Divorce is never easy, not if you are a product of divorce and wanted to give your child the ‘perfect’ family, not if you were truly in love. But top it off with lies, infidelity, and the worst of all, betrayal.

betray: verb (used with object)

1. to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty
2. to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling
3. to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to
4. to reveal or disclose in violation of confidence
5. to reveal unconsciously (something one would preferably conceal)
 
Yesterday was my (our) son’s second birthday. I took the day off and spent time with him, gave him 100% of my attention, we didn’t do anything extravagant but we had a great day that ended with snuggling on the couch watching ‘puppy mommy’ aka Word World before I had to take him to his fathers for the night. 
 
To My Dearest Little Boy on Your 2nd Birthday,
I’m sorry this last year has not been what it should have been in your little life. I know you won’t remember any of this and what happened to our once happy little family but I’ll do my best to answer any questions you have when the time comes. I also promise to do everything in my power to make the next year and following years after that what they should be, full of beautiful memories.
 
I love you to the moon and back.

 

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